Angelo is an Italian widow running an authentic English greasy spoon in Trafalgar Square. The menu may not offer many surprises, but the regulars do: Kris, a mime artist in a C3PO outfit with a crush on Angelo's daughter Maria; "nymphomaniac virgin" mini-cab driver Shelley; policewoman Karen who, desperate to get up the duff, is considering sleeping with her husband's sleazy brother... Luckily Angelo has the talentless Maria to help him out with this bizzare crowd -- when she's not busy dreaming of competing on X-Factor, or hanging out with boyfriend Mickey and best frenemy Alicia!